I love new words, old words, fun words, big words. I love to make up words, too.
At my house, it seems that if you add the -age ending to a word, it makes it a little more genteel in nature, perhaps more polite in conversation. “My chestage is so sore from that workout yesterday!” See? You can totally bring that up at your husband’s fancy office dinner. Or not.
The point remains: I love words.
So it was that my thoughts drifted while taking notes in Bible study. I was initially trying to decipher how to spell the word “disappointment” while the instructor was illustrating that disappointment may lead us to God’s biggest work in our lives yet.
Dis – of course that prefix means not, opposite of, away from. Appointment — hmmm.. a role, task, assignment. Whether or not we can spell it, the weight of the word itself brings about heaviness of heart and soul, filling the eyes with tears. We all know that disappointment feels far more heavy than a clinical discussion of the word.
You know disappointment first-hand, no doubt. The job, the child, the home, the spouse, the life you were counting on in some regard didn’t happen. And your heart was broken.
The last year has been a series of disappointments for our family. A job loss for my husband was unexpected. A new job then required a move for our family, which our teens let us know wasn’t in their life plan. Now the new location and cost of living has me sending out resume’s and applying for jobs only to hear again and again, “No thank you, you aren’t quite right..” or to be told nothing at all.
Faith is leaning into the word itself and hearing Him whisper: “See? Child, I’m telling you. This isn’t your appointment. This isn’t what I have for you. I have so much more for you. Dry your eyes. Dust yourself off. Move on.”
Is it possible that God can use my disappointment to move me to a Divine Appointment in my life?
Consider some heroes in the faith from scripture:
– Hannah, disappointed every month when she still was unable to have a child. Finally, finally… God blessed her with Samuel. Samuel that she gave back to God and who spoke for him.
– Ruth, widowed and alone, found her kinsmen-redeemer, and ended up giving birth to Obed. She has a spot in the lineage of Christ now.
– Sarah, my own namesake. Her disappointment at watching the calendar flip year after year with no children led her to desperation. She eventually would be redeemed, known as “Mother of many.”
The sting of my job rejection disappointments may subside as I journey deeper in with the Lord seeking my divine appointment. I’m trusting I’ll know it when I see it.
The boxes are mostly unpacked in our new home as the kids are making friends at school, and we are blessed to be employed again. (What is the grace period for living with boxes in your house after you’ve moved? I’m pretty sure I’m pushing it…)
The hurt of the disappointments is healing while I seek time with the Lord. My faith can be a shaky seedling some days, but I am hopeful that I will grow into His divine appointment for me.
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