Respectful Discourse: Is It Possible Anymore?

"Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called sons of God." - Jesus

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment that it may give grace in time of need." - Paul

It is difficult to get through a day without encountering "differences of opinion" on a variety of cultural subjects.  Healthy debate is preliminary to listening and, usually empowers respectful consideration of a point of view.  Whether it be the news, tabloids, blogs or twitter, the ground of healthy debate is collapsing beneath our feet.  The passionate, persuasive and respectful exchange of ideas is giving way to a kind of conversation that has more to do with winning an argument than staying connected with people and ideas at the same time.  I think the following article by Joey Cope helps us see something of what our responsibility and opportunity as Christians really is in the daily experience of sharing our ideas and convictions with each other and the world in general.  

Article:

For some time, I have been troubled over the way that we, as a society and as individuals, approach conflict. Civil discourse has given way, in large part, to guerrilla-like tactics and all-out war in the very halls that once were a symbol of maturity and civility. The following post flows from my troubled spirit. As such, much of this is therapeutic for me. I just feel like I need to be transparent and to add what is hopefully a respectful voice to the conversation.

I’ve been on the verge of shutting down all of my social media accounts for about a year.

Why?

Because there is a certain burden associated with standing by and watching a few of your friends – a few of your vocal friends – become those obnoxious, narrow-minded individuals who prove little with their rhetoric, who often react strongly on the basis of misinformation,and who, quite frankly, eclipse the value of their “stand” on a particular issue with their words of bias and hatred. That saddens me.

For example, I am troubled over a young man who I once believed showed great promise in the field of peacemaking. But his online posts revealed bias, bigotry, and almost total disregard for anyone who thinks differently. I am certainly tough enough to hear his opinion and rancor, but it is just painful and embarrassing. And I often wonder what damage he is doing to others and for the peaceful cause of Christ.

I have other friends or acquaintances, both personal and online, who have taken far different positions from me on political matters, theological matters, health and lifestyle matters. They have stated their opinions and made their arguments. Respectfully.

The quietness of their voices belies the volume of their message. By speaking appropriately, at the right time, and with a humility that comes from valuing others, their words were heard.

On a number of the issues these friends address, I don’t find myself persuaded. Yet, I do experience a deeper understanding of both them and of myself. And I’ve found that when I respond in kind, our conversations and our relationships grow stronger. In many cases, we find true resolution to the challenges that threaten to separate us.

People are finding a lot of issues to fight over in the political realm. The economy, gun control, immigration. In recent days, with the United States Supreme Court considering cases involving same-sex relationships, the bile vomited from both sides of the issue is revolting at its occurrence and the stench it has left behind is stifling.

WARNING: The following is a statement of my beliefs.

·   I believe in God and in Jesus Christ.

·   I believe that God has made it clear that homosexuality is a sin.

·   However, I also believe that God has made it clear that

·   Adultery and fornication are sins.

·   Murder and covetousness are sins.

·   Lust, lying, and idolatry are sins.

·   Personal promotion over the needs of others and anger are sins.

·   A good portion of my personal motivation is worldly and, thus, sinful.

And I believe that God makes no distinction between sins. He despises them all because he sees what sin does to us, his beloved. God loves us even though we are sinners.

I see no need to enter into public debate of my beliefs because of the inherent problem with the public debate of sin.

The problem with the public debate of sin is that sin is not debatable or negotiable. It is what it is. We don’t have the option of deciding what is sinful and what is not.

Therefore, I also believe that God has made it clear that

·   I am to love all people, regardless of their beliefs.

·   I am to respect every one.

·   I am to converse and work with others in an effort to build relationship and, where needed and available, reconciliation – regardless of their belief.

·   I am never to do anything that drives others further from God because of my weakness in conveying God’s spirit and being.

·   I am never to do anything that soils the image of God with others by acting like . . . well, like me. I am called to walk in God’s steps and take on his demeanor and spirit of love.

·   I am to challenge my own beliefs, ferret out errors in my thinking and behavior, and seek a brighter understanding. While God is all-knowing and wise, I am only a work-in-progress.

·   I can have hope in a God who loves, who listens, and who provides grace for my failings.

·   God will make the judgments about people. That is not my job.

·   I can, with a desire to obey God, become a person who others see God through — even when I set clear standards and expectations and disagree with them.

And, I also believe that my failure to seek the things on this last list are just as sinful as the things on my first list.

Right now, we are confusing the concept of sin with the concept of public opinion. We seem to believe that the Supreme Court’s decisions on this issue or that issue will be a blow to the kingdom of heaven. How shortsighted can we be?

You can’t legislate or litigate morality. You can’t make people accept God’s invitation to holiness and a joyful life. You can’t publicly debate sin and expect to see large scale conversion as a result. In fact, you most likely will see the opposite.

Here’s what we can do:

·   Live in accordance with our understanding of God’s hopes and desires for us.

·   Encourage others to come to know God.

·   Encourage each other in holy living.

·   When we disagree, never let our personal motives or feelings derail the hope for reconciliation and future relationship with others.

·   Exercise our voices appropriately. Talk with humility. Speak truth. Explore questions with integrity. Vote. Stay engaged and remain helpful when the vote goes against us.

·   Love every single person – family, friends, strangers, and especially our enemies.

God asks us for very little because God has everything covered. Let’s quit debating and begin meaningful conversation. We can accomplish far more by pursuing peace than we can by waging war.

For the Rest of My Life

I am 48 years old and have spent the last few years trying to start my life over again.  I have been in the mission field working with people who have made me re-evaluate everything that I think is important or necessary in my life.  I have been through a divorce that has turned me upside down and destroyed the ground where I thought I could stand firm.  I am going through a career transition that is a little exciting, a little scary and has me completely in the dark about what the future holds.  And, I am starting to learn how to read scripture again.  

I grew up going to church and hearing (or interpreting what I heard) preachers and teachers tell me that sin was bad and would condemn me to hell, hearing that idle hands were the devil’s workshop, hearing that not going to church was very, very bad and that a series of “doctrinal issues” left the salvation of many of my friends at the building across the street in jeopardy.  I heard, or believe I heard, a lot of negative and I have taken this concept to the way I read and process scripture.  

I read about sin and sinners and that is what sticks out to me.  I read about God’s love and mercy and sin sticks out to me.  I read about Jesus on the cross and sin sticks out to me.  I think about my life and my relationship with my Lord and Savior and sin sticks out to me.  I look at my life and sin sticks out to me.  

You know how you read a passage and sometimes you will see certain areas highlighted, italicized, or in bold letters with “(emphasis mine)” at the end meaning the writer wanted to bring some areas of the passage to the readers attention?  I have done that in my reading, writing and speaking and, looking back, realize what I usually highlight is the part about sin or human failing.  Now, I am starting over in the way I read scripture.  Slowly, but surely, I am reading it with a focus on what God wants me to know about Him, about how He sees me and how He feels about me.  It changes things when I do that.  It changes my processing and I pray it will change the way I live my life in the remainder of my years.

“I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.” - 1 Timothy 1:12-14 (Italics and bolding mine, Emphasis His)

As I read the words of Paul, I am often thinking about how his words connect with me, how I connect with his sin.  As I read these words recently, I focused on what Paul states Jesus has done in his life, all that Jesus has poured into him (Paul).  It's easy for me to be introspective about my faults but I do not focus enough on looking at what Jesus has and is doing inside of me.  As I emphasize the words of Paul's writing in this section of scripture, it becomes more obvious to see the emphasis Christ puts on, and in, me.

I want the rest of my days lived in the emphasis of my Savior.  I want to emphasize the strength He has given me.  I want to emphasize that I am trustworthy to Him.  I want to emphasize that He has appointed me in His service.  I want to emphasize His mercy and grace that I have experienced in abundance.  I want to emphasize these things to others because of God’s love, not my sin.  Because of how much He cares and all that He does in advance to prepare my way, not because of what I have done.  I want my life to show an emphasis on God.  I want the emphasis of my words and actions to be His.

Grace and peace

Jeff Jones

Decatur, Texas

Let's Start Talking

My husband and I have been presented with the opportunity to go to China this summer and share Jesus with people who do not know him. This is such an exciting opportunity. We have always lived in Texas and the people we meet have been exposed to Jesus and to his followers. Sometimes His followers have turned people away from Him. This is heart breaking.  As we go to China it is imperative that we reflect Jesus with our lives. They will constantly be observing us.

We are praying for our lives and conversations to reflect Him.  We are going with the Let’s Start Talking Ministry. In this ministry people are eager to sign up to speak English with an American to become more fluent and conversational with their English. We will be using a simple version of the Book of Luke as a basis for our conversation.  How wonderful to have every conversation based out of the Bible!  As my reader delves into Chapter 1 about Mary and her pregnancy with Jesus, I can speak to a young woman about learning of pregnancy in her country and how it is accepted. We can discuss how Chinese women are treated if they become pregnant before marriage.  I can share what it is like in America. We will then reflect on what it must have been like for Mary in an ancient world. Our conversations will be rich and the reader will begin to learn of Jesus as we progress through the chapters and we will both be blessed with a new friendship.

The LST ministry team has challenged my husband and me to reflect the following scriptures while we are there.

·   Be DEVOTED to one another in brotherly love. (Rom. 12:10)

·   HONOR one another above yourselves. (Rom. 12:10)

·   Live in HARMONY with one another. (Rom 12:6)

·   Stop passing JUDGEMENT on one another. (Rom. 14:3)

·   ACCEPT one another, just as Christ accepted you. (Rom. 15:7)

·   ENCOURAGE one another, BUILD each other up. (I Thess. 5:11)

·   SERVE one another in love. (Gal. 5:13)

            We have read these scriptures before, but it is difficult to live them out every day, isn’t it?  Just last night I confronted my husband about something and realized I was not honoring him above myself. I was not accepting him as Christ accepts me.  I have got a ways to go, if I am going to reflect His glory all the time. I realize I will never do it on my own power. This is where I have got to slow down and ask the Holy Spirit to not only step in and help me, but to take over and guide my words and actions. The Spirit that lives within us has the power to live this way!

Holy Father, forgive me for not calling on your spirit to guide me each day, for exerting my own will and not reflecting your Glory.  I am your child and I want it to be obvious that you are my Father. Once again I say “Less of me and more of you.” Thank you calling and sending us to share You and Your Son with the people of Xiamen, China.      

In the blessed name of Jesus, Amen.

Terry Smith

Stephenville, Texas

Questions for the 21st Century Church

Question:  In the following verses, what does Jesus say separates the sheep from the goats; i.e., the saved from the lost?

   “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’” (Matthew 25:31-36).

Question:  How does James, a Jewish Christian leader in the early church, describe pure and faultless religion?

  “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:  to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” (James 1:27).

Question:  When James, Peter and John offered Paul and Barnabas the right hand of fellowship, what one thing did they ask of them?

  “James, Peter and John, those reputed to be pillars, gave me and Barnabas the right hand of fellowship when they recognized the grace given to me.  They agreed that we should go to the Gentiles, and they to the Jews.  All they asked was that we should continue to remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do.”  (Galatians 2:9 & 10).

Question:  In the following parable, what does Jesus say about how we are to treat the vulnerable?

   An expert in Jewish law put Jesus to the test by asking him the question, “What must I do to inherit eternal life?”  Jesus answered, “Love your neighbor.”  He then asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?”  Jesus told him a story about a man in dire need, two religious men who passed by without helping, and an outsider who came to his rescue.  

   Then he asked, “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?’  The expert in the law replied, ‘The one who had mercy on him.’  Jesus told him, ‘Go and do likewise.’”  (Luke 10).

Question:  As church, do we pass by the vulnerable and disenfranchised, searching instead for an elusive gimmick designed to draw the masses to our church buildings?

Jesus died for everyone.

Father, take over the reins of your church.  Lead us; guide us.  We don’t always know what we’re doing.  Amen.

Sandra Milholland

Abilene, Texas