It was a few years into my marriage with a baby on the way, a mom battling cancer, and a recent move to rural Alaska, when I began to realize my faith was based mainly on me. I discovered I was walking around in shackles. I had been wearing them for so long I thought my hobbled walk was normal. My discovery happened after a conversation with a dear friend and mentor about the fruits of the Holy Spirit. I told him I was beginning a personal prayer campaign for peace. Not world peace, but peace in my heart. Since early childhood I had struggled with low levels of anxiety; anxiety about my future, my present and at times my past. I was especially anxious about my relationships and what others thought of me. According to my mother at the age of three, my physician grandfather remarked to her that she needed to teach me to relax. Unfortunately this was a lesson that went unlearned.
To most people my inward battle with anxiety made me outwardly appear driven, high achieving, and energetic. As an athlete I used this tool to push my body beyond its limits and unfortunately pay the price with painful bursitis and tendonitis in both shoulders at the age of 35. As an employee I never lacked for promotions or more responsibilities, unfortunately these came to the detriment of real relationships outside of work and struggles with infertility. Anxiety left me constantly discontent, overbearing, and living in a world of unrealistic expectations for myself and others.
It was the question from my mentor of, “Why are you praying for peace when you already have it?” that allowed me to see that I was missing out on a huge promise from God. A study of Galatians 5 and the fruits of the Spirit led me back to the beginning of the chapter where Paul writes:
“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”
“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”
Like the Christians in Galatia, I too had put Christ on in baptism and in doing so had “crucified the flesh with its passions and desires”. However, like the Galatians’ desire to be justified in their faith through their works, I had also been “working” at peace, and “working” at joyfulness with little success.
When we receive the gift of the Holy Spirit we in turn have access to the fruits, but access does not guarantee ownership. Some fruits come easily while others are more difficult to obtain. It is our flesh that keeps us from walking in the freedom of Christ and enjoying the Spirit’s fruits. When I take up the shackles of anxiety and worry about the lack of control I have over my life and those in it, I deny the peace and joy already set before me and become a slave once again to sin.
I would like to say that once I learned this lesson I forever broke the chains that bound me, and never took them up again. But, oh how alluring the sin of anxiety can be for me at times. In my anxiety I can out-work, out-criticize, and out-worry the best: calls are made, closets organized, prayers given, notes written, bible class materials gathered, and meals cooked. Sometimes we can do good things yet nullify the freedom and power of a relationship with Christ if we try to do it all on our own.
How do we escape the bondage that Paul writes about? As humbly as I can, I would like to say, WE can’t. Not without God’s help. Every day as Christ followers we battle our humanity and unseen forces that wage war on our hearts and our homes. If we are not involved in this battle then, Satan has already won. He has lulled us into the belief that by doing the right things, living a clean life, attending worship, etc., we are in the clear. We can check that box off.
Our challenge as Christians is to stop DOING Christianity and start living, walking in the full life (John 10:10) Jesus died to give us. I believe we do that through a lifestyle of thankfulness.
“Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
and his courts with praise!
Give thanks to him; bless his name!” Psalm 100:4
“Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
and his courts with praise!
Give thanks to him; bless his name!” Psalm 100:4
I recently read a book by Ann Voskamp about thankfulness. In her book she points us to a Savior that gives thanks in his darkest hour. The evening before he was betrayed and fought the biggest internal cosmic battle of all time (Luke 22:42-44) what does he do? He stops to eat and to serve. He washes the feet of his disciples and joins them for a meal. (Luke 22:19)
Here in Luke the words, “gave thanks”, in the orginal language reads “eucharisteo”. The root word of eucharisteo is charis, meaning “grace”. Voskamp writes, “Jesus took the bread and saw it as grace and gave thanks. He took the bread and knew it to be gift and gave thanks.” Charis not only envelopes the Greek word for grace, but also holds its derivative, the Greek word for chara, meaning “JOY”. Deep chara joy is found only at the table of euCHARisteo…the table of thanksgiving.” She then asks, “Is the height of my chara joy dependent on the depths of my eucharisteo thanks?”
I believe we can’t have true joy in our lives apart from thankfulness. Through the eyes of thankfulness we can see ourselves, our relationships, our roles, and even the hard times of life differently…By giving thanks we can begin to see eternally…like Jesus.
Prayer: Dear Lord, thank you for new perspectives. Thank you for giving us the example of thanksgiving. Most importantly, thank you for making us new through you. Amen.
Dana Jaworski
Anchor Point, AK
Anchor Point, AK
