It was a glorious, tropical day, one of those picture-perfect days when you feel God’s presence in the beauty of nature and can hardly wait to get outside. My friends and I had just arrived at the elevator when I noticed a young woman who was visibly shaken and trembling. She slowly made her way to the elevator. With her back to us and her head bowed, rode quietly with us to the lobby. She was first to get off the elevator and I was not really paying attention when one of my friends looked back and pointed her out to me. I went to her and told her that I could tell she was upset and wondered if there was anything I could do to help. I had no idea I was meeting a sister for the very first time.
As we sat and visited, it quickly became apparent that we had several things in common. Early in our conversation I could tell that she was a believer so it did not take me long to ask what church she went to. She identified herself with a
Through her tears she began to share her story. She first told me that she was planning to take her life. She had written a letter to her sister and had written several notes including one to the housekeeper who would find her in the room, apologizing for what she had done.
She had traveled two hours the day before to meet a young man whom she had known since high school. They had kept in touch by phone but she had not seen him in three years. She traveled by train and had planned to meet him for dinner, visit and then return home. She had not told anyone where she was going. She knew her family and friends would not approve. After dinner her friend had taken her to the hotel and they visited there for several hours. She was devastated when he told her that he did not love her and would not be seeing her again. She said in spite of the fact that their families would never approve of their relationship, due to cultural and religious differences, she loved him and told him that if she could not be with him, when he left she would take her life. She wanted more than anything for him to love her unconditionally as she loved him.
My sweet sister was in the depths of depression! She had left the room to make a phone call, to tell her sister goodbye. She felt everyone would be better off if she just went away, evaporated from their lives. She could see no reason to live. Her father had left her mother when she was one year old. She knew that he had sexually abused her sister who was ten when she was born. Her mother blamed her sister for breaking up their marriage.
She continued to tell of the difficulties she had faced throughout her twenty-three years. Her heart was breaking as she shared that a year ago she had given birth to a baby girl. She had given her up for adoption. I pointed out to her that someday that little girl may want to know her biological mother. Had she thought about how it would affect her when she learned that her mother had taken her own life?
I asked if there was anything she ever dreamed of doing. She said she had always wanted to be a cosmetologist. When I inquired as to why she had not followed this dream, she said everyone told her it was not possible. I assured her that God loves her and that He has a plan and a purpose for her life. I told her that by His grace and with His help, she could accomplish whatever she wanted in life.
I was able to share about experiences in my life when I also needed help. I told her about the death of my husband to whom I had been married for forty-eight years. I shared with her a description of “true love”, a mutual love between a man and woman as God intended from the beginning of time, a love worth the wait.
We went to my room to make some phone calls. She called the friend who left her at the hotel to let him know she did not follow through with her plan. When I had finished praying she asked if she could pray. With a sincere and contrite heart she earnestly confessed her sins and thanked God for intervening and saving her life.
She had me call her boss and her sister to let them know she was fine and would be going home on the afternoon train. She called a friend from church who was happy to hear from her. She said she would arrange for someone to meet her at the train station and take her to a service they were having at church that evening.
She listened attentively as I encouraged her to share with members of her church family who could help her through this difficult time in her life. I suggested she see a physician and told her she could get help and did not have to feel this way. She shared contact information with me and I, with her. I have emailed her and recently spoken with her on the phone. She assured me that things are much better. I look forward to staying in touch with my precious sister. “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
My sister and I have so little and yet so very much in common. We both have experienced broken hearts and I’m sure will continue at times to be faced with challenges beyond our wildest imaginations. However, we do know how to secure our hearts. Our loving Father whom we share has seen to that!
An age-old hymn, one I sang as a girl growing up, comes to mind, “How Shall the Young Secure Their Hearts?
“How shall the young secure their hearts, and guard their lives from sin? Thy word the choicest rules imparts to keep the conscience clean, to keep the conscience clean, to keep the conscience clean.
Tis, like the sun, a heav’nly light, that guides us all the day, and thro’ the dangers of the night, a lamp to lead our way, a lamp to lead our way, a lamp to lead our way.
Thy word is everlasting truth; how pure is every page! That holy book shall guide our youth, and well support our age, and well support our age, and well support our age.”
Jan Alderfer
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