What is Your Suffering?

In my life I know a father abandoned by his wife and who lost his 2 young sons to illness, a wife married to and staying with an abusive husband for 40 years, and a woman devastated by physical ailments with a lifetime of surgeries and pain.  In moments of reflection on their lives I heard them say: “I wouldn’t change a thing”, “I wish everyone could have what I have”, and “My life is so good”.  Each endured suffering with unfathomable grief, inescapable despair, and unimaginable pain and yet they made these incredible statements.

From the perspective of the tragedies in the lives of these people their words did not reconcile with the reality of their sufferings.  I knew these were not flippant remarks to impress but were sincere expressions from the souls of believers.

I came across two scriptures that I read within the context of the lives of my friends who have suffered so much.

"But we must suffer as Christ suffered so that we will have glory as Christ has glory." Romans 8:17

So hold on through your sufferings, because they are like a father’s discipline.  We do not enjoy being disciplined.  It is painful, but later, after we have learned from it, we have peace, because we start living in the right way. Hebrews 12:7, 11.

I have gone through my own suffering since those of my friends.  I would not try to compare mine with theirs but I know mine was very painful.  Much comes to light in suffering.  Priorities are clearer and focus is keener.  The truths spoken by my friends became clear and I can now reconcile their words.  Only in suffering do I come to realize and understand the true brokenness of my life and how much I need my Father. Only suffering brings me to the feet of Jesus begging for His help, crying out to Him to save me from my pain and hopelessness. Only suffering allows me to be bare before Him with nothing offered, no ego, no solutions, no justifications, no rationalizations, only my cry for help to allow Him to save me. Until then I won't let Him in. I am too proud, too self reliant, too independent.  My Lord doesn't choose to make me suffer. That is not what He wants. But He knows it is the only way I will ever understand.  He knows it is the only way I will ever let Him save me and recognize it is His power, and see it for what it is.  When I have fallen at His feet and am laying before Him with no expectation the Spirit cries out to my Father for me knowing exactly what I need and He answers with a loving embrace of His presence. When you experience firsthand this relationship it is pure joy and you would never change it.  

That is what the father would not change. 
That is what the wife wished that all could have. 
That is what the woman proclaimed as so good.    

That is why they said what they said.

Thank you Father for always pursuing me. I want to taste true communion with You where there is true life and peace.  Lead me to that life however You need to.

Scotty Elston
Shallowater, Texas