Theme: Repentance: Can We Say That?

Repentance Is Not a Dirty Word

Her name was Candace.  I met her at the Taylor County Jail; not that where we met makes a difference. Over the months her story began to unfold.  She was born to a loving mom and dad and had a good home life, even attending church until her dad died when she was 7.  Her mother didn’t deal with her father’s death well and turned to bad men and bad living.  Because of the company her mother kept, Candace endured

unspeakable acts of physical, mental, and emotional abuse until the age of 13 when she left home.  She lived with friends from school and on the streets until she dropped out of high school after her 16th birthday.  At that time she had a fake I.D., and tried to “do the grown up thing”, as she put it and landed a job as a cocktail waitress.  It was during this time she was introduced to meth and other substances that would change her life.

When I met Candace she was 25, a mother of two kids that were in foster care and she had been in the correctional system for over a year.  She had been clean for 11 months and was completing her time for writing bad checks.  During the months we studied together, she was baptized and began to learn how much God loved her.  When it came time for Candace’s release, she was accepted into a job training program, became reacquainted with her grandparents, and was looking forward to being part of a church family.  For the first 90 days she lived with her grandparents and then was allowed to get an apartment by herself.  The church where my husband and I attended assisted her in finding a place to live, furnishing that apartment, and stocking her in groceries.  We provided her with rides to services or to other places in town, checked on her a few times each week, and had her over for dinner once in a while.  She did well and even graduated from the job training program and found a job at a retail store.  This period of success lasted for nearly a year…until the bottom fell out.

It all started with a thoughtless comment made to her by a member of the church regarding her choice of boyfriend.  Later that week she made a bad choice, became drunk and went to work hung over.  She called me the next morning, confessing her shame and asking for help.   When I came to her apartment she was a mess and through angry tears said, “I can’t do this.  I can’t be perfect like you people.  None of you  do nothin’ wrong and I just can’t be what you want me to be.”    I tried hard to convince her that Christians weren’t perfect, only Christ was…but to no avail.  We watched as she spiraled further out of control and eventually lost contact with her.

The church in Corinth was full of people with stories like Candace’s.  When you read through 1 Corinthians, Paul does not mince words.  He plainly confronts his brothers and sisters with their sins, but he does so with love and humility.  Look at the way Paul addresses their sin:  He exposes it, shares with them that he too is not perfect, and then points them toward the cross and to the one who died to set them free from sin. Apparently Paul’s letter was well received, as we read 2 Corinthians 7:7-10.

“and not only by his coming but also by the comfort you had given him.  He told us about your longing for me, your deep sorrow, your ardent concern for me, so that my joy was greater than ever.  Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it.  Though I did regret it – I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while – yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance.  For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us.  Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldy sorrow brings death.”

What can we learn from this passage and from Candace’s story?  Two things:

Take off the spiritual makeup, be real, and love deeply.  Not that we need to go around spewing all of our dirty laundry to whoever will listen, but what we need most in the church is honesty with ourselves and our brothers and sisters.  We desperately need God’s help.  We are people in process and we are constantly in the process of becoming more like Jesus.  Repentance is not meant to be done in a vacuum.  We need to share with each other out of love and humility; this is for our benefit and for the benefit of others.  We gain accountability, honest relationships, and we aid in creating church fellowship that fosters real growth.

Repentance is not just turning away from sin, but turning toward God.  When we repent, God promises, “times of refreshing” (Acts 3:19) along with “no regrets”.  That doesn’t mean it will be easy.  

Our failures do not surprise our God, He knows we need Him.  What surprises Him the most is when we fail to ask Him for help, especially after all He has done.

Dana Jaworski
Anchor Point, AK