I just read my dad’s article from yesterday. Naturally, it made me think about “stories” I’ve heard recently. One stands out above the rest. I have a friend who I’ve known for a long time. We went to elementary school together when my family lived in Abilene when I was very young, and didn’t meet again until I came to ACU four years ago.
Our friendship has encountered many challenges, but has managed to endure in the midst of these, largely due to his honesty. As we’ve walked life together, he has confessed to anger, lust, porn addiction, objectifying women as a result of that addiction, turning his back on God, among other things. In the past year, we’ve grown apart a bit and I missed out on about nine months of his life. Three weeks ago, he called me and said he needed to talk. I knew it must be serious, since we had not spoken a word to each other in months.
We met at the park and he wasted no time. “Erin,” he said, “I need to confess something to you. I know we haven’t talked in awhile, but I’ve felt comfortable with confessing things to you in the past, so here it goes: I’m addicted to weed and prescription meds. For the past five months, I’ve been selling drugs, stealing money from my parents, and am constantly “on” something. I’m high all the time. Last night, something inside me broke. I can’t do it anymore. I want to change and I can’t do it alone. I understand if you can’t look at me the same way. I understand if you don’t want to be my friend anymore. But I can’t go on living with this sin inside of myself.”
He shook with silent sobs. I can’t begin to imagine the fear that he felt in that moment--fear of being given up on, fear of an angry response, fear of being told that there was no love left for him. Contrary to his expectation, I have never loved him more than I did in that moment.
Why is confession so hard? It requires vulnerability and honesty, and, perhaps more difficult, it requires the acknowledgement that there is a need for change in our lives. A generalized confession on a notecard after the invitation song doesn’t cut it. Even confessing to God alone doesn’t either. In confessing to one another, we hold each other accountable. We call each other out of the darkness of secret sin and walk with each other in the light. We give those who love us the opportunity to prove the depth and endurance of their love for us. We connect in community the way that Christ has called us to. Confession creates stronger community.
Bringing sin into the light strips Satan of his power over that realm of our lives. The Lord knows every part of us, yes, but the Lord still longs to be invited into our hidden places. In doing this, we invite Him to teach us how to know Him more, and to know ourselves, as well. His appearance in these times is as sure as the dawn.
“Come, let us return to the Lord.
For He has torn us,and He will heal us;
He has wounded us,
and He will bind up our wounds.He will revive us after two days,
and on the third day He will raise us up
so we can live in His presence.Let us strive to know the Lord.
His appearance is as sure as the dawn.
He will come to us like the rain,
like the spring showers that water the land.”Hosea 6:1-3
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