What if I Were Broken?

“Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.” Micah 7:18 (NIV 1984)

His question made me stop and think. It was a simple comment, said in a teasing manner, but instantly struck a chord in my heart.

One afternoon I was trying to get prepared for a garage sale in Abilene.  I was attempting to determine what to sell and what to throw away.  While cleaning out the garage full of items I rarely used, I found an old broken VCR. I handed it to my six year-old son and asked him to throw it away. Instead of just tossing it into the trashcan, he asked if he could keep it.

Why in the world would a little boy want an old, dirty, useless VCR? I thought.

He insisted he needed to keep it. Finally I said, “Son, it is broken. I don’t want it or need it anymore, so throw it away please.” “Well if I were broken, would you just throw me away?” he asked.

Huh? Our conversation about a silly VCR had gotten way too complicated. I assured him I would never throw him away, no matter what, because he was too valuable to me. Then I gave him a hug and he skipped off into the house to watch TV, while I stood there stunned, pondering his question.

I remembered being like that VCR – broken, dirty and useless – at least in my eyes. A horrible decision I made in my earlier years convinced me for a long time that I had no redeeming value in God’s eyes. Regret suffocated my heart for years, and plagued me with lies that God could never really love a sinner like me.  I stood there in my garage vividly remembering the overwhelming pain and regret of feeling broken, and void of worth, beauty or value. But then a smile slipped across my face as I remembered the day God healed my brokenness. Sitting alone in my backyard several years before, tears down my face, I begged God to forgive me for my sins. I had asked before, but this time it was different.  I felt God’s presence and believed His promise of forgiveness. For the first time, I heard His voice ring in the ears of my heart, reassuring me that I was too valuable to be thrown away. The following day I realized something was different. My past was still my past, but I was no longer broken.  The damaged pieces of my heart were mended, and I set out on a wonderful journey to discover my worth in God’s eyes. Over time I read His promises and started to believe I really was valuable and that He not only loved me, He liked me!

Are you feeling broken today? Do you ever feel like God could love everyone else, but not you? Do you spend each day condemning yourself for past sins, current habits, damaged relationships, poor choices, or even self-harming behavior?  Do you ever feel like you are just too messed up to be “fixed?” Do you wish you could stop feeling broken, or break the cycle of sin in your life, but simply do not know how?

Despite what you think, you are not beyond repair. As a child of God, you are precious, beautiful and part of God’s inheritance, just as the verse above says.  Whatever your situation, God can mend that crushing feeling of hopelessness and brokenness. With faith, ask Him to. Then delight in Him by accepting His grace, mercy and forgiveness.

Dear Lord, forgive me and heal me. Mend my brokenness. Give me hope. Help me to see myself through Your eyes only. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Casey Dacus
Graham, TX