I Want More

I have a wonderful and blessed life, to be sure. I am married to a Godly man, I have two beautiful children, I am living my dream of staying at home to raise them, I am well-fed and protected, and I have family and friends nearby. But something evades me still. A certain hunger, a longing for meaning, depth, and peace.

Have you felt that desire? Have you looked into your own heart and found that all the things around you, even the good things, are not enough?

You could choose put the blame on the things themselves. You could go through life searching, believing that if you only had a better husband, a better job, a better house, or a better church, you could finally be happy.

You could choose to repress your desire. You could try to “grow up” and not have too high of expectations for your life, keeping your head down and your hands in your pockets. But there is another way.

“Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exist. A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. A duckling wants to swim: well, there is such a thing as water. Men feel sexual desire: well, there is such a thing as sex. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”
–CS Lewis, Mere Christianity

Have you ever thought about that? The fact that you have that desire at all is proof that God exists, that Heaven is truly waiting for those who follow God’s path! After all, where else would that desire come from? People throughout history have been asking the question, “What is the meaning of life?” And as Lewis says, “If the universe had no meaning, we should never have found out that it had no meaning.” Animals do not feel this desire for inner peace. It is unique to humankind, put there by our Creator to set us searching for Him.

So open your heart fully – let that longing all the way in. Lewis reminds us that continually looking forward to the eternal world is not a form of escapism or wishful thinking. It is not an emotion. It is one of the things a Christian is meant to do.

The book of Hebrews calls hope “an anchor for the soul” (Heb. 6:19). Our hope of eternal life is what keeps us steady, frames all our decisions, purifies our motives, and helps us let go of the things that don’t matter in this life.

If we choose to hope, it doesn’t matter comes our way. At the most, our troubles can only last one lifetime. But Heaven will last for thousands of lifetimes (2 Cor. 4:16-18)!

 I don’t know exactly what Heaven is going to be like. But I do know that any piece of happiness I feel here is less than a shadow of the pure, even tangible joy we will live in.

 Your longing was put there deliberately. God wants you to listen to it and even spend energy building it up. Celebrate the fact that true peace can be found. Stoke the fire, and dream on!

Bicky Tolar
Abilene, Texas