--Oscar Wilde
It happens to all of us. And we, in turn, inflict it on others. In contemporary vernacular it’s called “sizing up.” We can’t help it. Forming opinions about the world around us is an innate, God-given defense mechanism. It steers us away from potential dangers and helps us avoid unsavory characters.
What are we encouraged to do when we dislike someone we barely know? Get to know them better, of course. Familiarity usually breeds enjoyable acquaintances, but sometimes we take steps to walk in someone else’s shoes hoping to improve our attitude toward them, only to discover…we still don’t like them! They punch our most vulnerable buttons and we want to flee when we see them coming. Sadly, we probably affect others this way without even knowing it!
It would be unrealistic to like everyone we meet and be liked in return, so we avoid most people with whom we have difficulty. Here’s the rub: How do we graciously worship our Father God and live kindly in Christian community with someone who unwittingly grates into shreds our last nerve? I want to love them differently than I “love” my enemies. Tolerance is an option, but there’s something sad about being only tolerated.
When a critical spirit and a habit of negativity minimize the joy of Christian fellowship, it’s time to “size-up” our own hearts (kardia - everything we are). What irritates us about someone else says more about us than it does about them. It takes courage to figure out what that is.
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:12, 13).
We all have blisters and relish the salve of human kindness. Let’s love each other better by remembering that.
Teach me to feel another’s woe, to hide the fault I see. That mercy I to others show, that mercy show to me (Alexander Pope, 1688-1744).
It happens to all of us. And we, in turn, inflict it on others. In contemporary vernacular it’s called “sizing up.” We can’t help it. Forming opinions about the world around us is an innate, God-given defense mechanism. It steers us away from potential dangers and helps us avoid unsavory characters.
What are we encouraged to do when we dislike someone we barely know? Get to know them better, of course. Familiarity usually breeds enjoyable acquaintances, but sometimes we take steps to walk in someone else’s shoes hoping to improve our attitude toward them, only to discover…we still don’t like them! They punch our most vulnerable buttons and we want to flee when we see them coming. Sadly, we probably affect others this way without even knowing it!
It would be unrealistic to like everyone we meet and be liked in return, so we avoid most people with whom we have difficulty. Here’s the rub: How do we graciously worship our Father God and live kindly in Christian community with someone who unwittingly grates into shreds our last nerve? I want to love them differently than I “love” my enemies. Tolerance is an option, but there’s something sad about being only tolerated.
When a critical spirit and a habit of negativity minimize the joy of Christian fellowship, it’s time to “size-up” our own hearts (kardia - everything we are). What irritates us about someone else says more about us than it does about them. It takes courage to figure out what that is.
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:12, 13).
We all have blisters and relish the salve of human kindness. Let’s love each other better by remembering that.
Teach me to feel another’s woe, to hide the fault I see. That mercy I to others show, that mercy show to me (Alexander Pope, 1688-1744).
Sandra Milholland
Abilene, Texas
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