Being Present

I write to you, fathers, because you know him who is from the beginning.

I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one.” – 1 John 2:14

A couple of weeks ago I had an interesting conversation with a dad.  He was broken.  His voice was hollow.  He recounted how “absent” he had been from his family and from his church family.  Although he had always been “around", he confessed that he had not been “as engaged” as he knew he should be.  Each day he felt like a tether ball that swung toward irritability one day and numbness the next.  Joy was a word without definition.  He couldn’t pray.  Smiling was a manufactured experience.    Life had become a thousand little weights that made their dwelling place in his heart.  All of it had affected his interest, stamina and will to be the kind of presence in his family and in his church that he wanted to be.  He was stuck.  He said, “I just feel so lost and aimless right now….and guilty.  When I get home or go to a church gathering, a class or an event, all I want to do is sit.  Thinking about the Word, getting involved in a ministry or just being genuinely present for my wife and kids takes Herculean effort.  I’m just constantly churning inside.” 

His story was all too familiar.  As men, we don’t just live life.  We “feel” life.  We feel its tugs, distractions, pressures and the restlessness that sometimes comes with being “the man”.  In the midst of it all we can hear God’s call to be present – to be engaged as God’s man.  But…?

I marvel at Jesus life and ministry.  His ability to be “present and engaged” is astounding.  The last twenty four hours before he goes to the cross is staggering.  The swing of events notwithstanding, his ability to bring words of hope, strength, encouragement, and peace to his disciples as the weight of the world lands finally and completely on his back is nothing short of breathtaking (Read John 13-17!).  He knew his destiny.  I’m certain he “felt” it, too.  In Gethsemane he gives voice to his humanity as he reaches for the cup of suffering.  And, yet, through it all, he stands before us as a model of what being present and engaged looks like.   

His ability to stay in the moment as he needed to be was contingent on a lot of things I’m sure, but none more than his communion with the Father.  As he received strength from His Father he was able to give to those around him. 

Life doesn’t slow down for us.  Challenges come and go.  We don’t have an “I’m exempt from anxiety” card.  It’s idealistic to think we can go through life as men and not feel life’s pins and needles.  There will be moments when prayer, encouragement, listening, comfort, and service come with struggle.  That’s okay I think.  What we really need is refreshment for our hearts.  We need communion with the Father just like Jesus did.  We need communion with other men who share our experiences – who “feel” life just like we feel it.  We need silence before the Word allowing the Spirit to bring the ministry of the Word into our hearts.  And, God ministers to our tired, aching, restless and anxious hearts in unseen but real ways that empower us to be present in our moments as we are needed.   Allowing ourselves to tap into this blessing refuels us to be the instruments God uses to bless others. 

O Father, we want to be engaged as men, husbands and fathers.  We sometimes lose the will to be present in the lives of our family, church family and people in general.  Save us from accepting this as normal.  Awaken us to your desire to refresh our hearts and restore our souls.  Show us your majesty and power in the midst of our frailty.  Teach us that we can cast all our anxiety on You because You truly care for us.  Help us rise up each day with strength and vigor ready to be in our moments as we are needed.  Thank you for Jesus who shows us how to do it.  Amen.

Randy Daugherty

Stephenville, Texas