“I’ve never discussed this with anyone.”
Have you ever uttered these words? If you have, you’re one of millions who has harbored a secret.
PostSecret. In 2004, Frank Warren ofGermantown , Maryland Washington , D.C.
Postcards started coming in, but to Frank’s surprise, the idea caught fire. He was astonished by the deep secrets many shared. Some were funny, some were heartbreaking. All showed the contents of people’s hearts.
The postcards just kept coming. Frank’s project grew into a worldwide phenomenon that has become known as “PostSecret.” In the last seven years, Frank has been sent over half a million postcards, hearing the secret desires or pains of strangers - enough to fill five books. In 2005, Frank began scanning the postcards and displaying them on a blog, which was updated with 10 new secrets every Sunday. In 2007, the PostSecret Community was born, and 80,000 users have registered for the online discussion forum. In 2008, PostSecret teamed up with 1-800-SUICIDE to answer some of the numerous cries for help that the organization sees every single day.
Warren
What is the reason for PostSecret’s success? What makes people want open their hearts and minds to strangers in a public forum? This organization, though it is secular, has stumbled upon a concept that Christians have long known: secrets bind us, and humans are crying out for relief.
Why do we keep secrets? There can be many reasons, and Satan loves to use all of them. He speaks to us in our pride, appealing to our deep need for acceptance and personal affirmation. We have all heard him whisper, “If anyone knew what you were really like, you would be despised.”
Or maybe Satan makes us think we can’t stop, or that we don’t have to. That we can continue in our anger, or in our sin, and are justified. Or that no one will get hurt.
Maybe Satan plays into our self-pity, and encourages us to feel sorry for ourselves. We carry deep hurts that wound us, and when we don’t release them, we make excuses, viewing ourselves as a victim. We do anything to stay in control of our own lives, since others have taken so much from us.
Or maybe Satan makes us doubt that the struggle can ever really be overcome. We become paralyzed, feeling that we’ve tried everything, and we resign ourselves to living with this problem. So we stick it in a closet in our hearts and close the door.
Our secrets will eat us aive. For whatever reason we keep our secrets, one thing is sure: a secret is like a black mold that can darken your heart forever. Aaron Stern writes, “Secrets never shrink, they never go away, and they never lead to life. …We may think we are keeping a secret, but the secret is actually keeping us.” You see, this is why God is against sin: not because He doesn’t want us to enjoy pleasure, but because He knows sin changes us, and the damage can be permanent (James 1:13-15).
For example, our anger can fester into a heart that is bent by bitterness. And our sin can shape our minds so that all we can see is shame. We become two halves of a person: one half that is trying to prove that everything is fine, and one half that is filled with pain, anger, doubt, loneliness, and fear. So we learn not to trust, thinking it will protect our fragile hearts from future pains. We become isolated, and we are restless.
Behind the lies. Even Frank Warren, who is not a Christian, has learned that keeping secrets doesn’t keep us safe. He says, “I believe that the motives for mailing in secrets are complex. Maybe someone wants to share a funny experience. Other postcards show painstaking detail and raw personal insight. I think of each work as a piece of art, but I also see some as sacred objects used by the creators to find peace or greater self-acceptance.”
My friends, this is of God. Even those in the world know the truth in their hearts: there is a certain peace in confession. We can finally allow those two halves of ourselves to reconcile. But God goes a step farther: He promises us that if we surrender our dark places to him, we will be made clean.
Have you ever uttered these words? If you have, you’re one of millions who has harbored a secret.
PostSecret. In 2004, Frank Warren of
Postcards started coming in, but to Frank’s surprise, the idea caught fire. He was astonished by the deep secrets many shared. Some were funny, some were heartbreaking. All showed the contents of people’s hearts.
The postcards just kept coming. Frank’s project grew into a worldwide phenomenon that has become known as “PostSecret.” In the last seven years, Frank has been sent over half a million postcards, hearing the secret desires or pains of strangers - enough to fill five books. In 2005, Frank began scanning the postcards and displaying them on a blog, which was updated with 10 new secrets every Sunday. In 2007, the PostSecret Community was born, and 80,000 users have registered for the online discussion forum. In 2008, PostSecret teamed up with 1-800-SUICIDE to answer some of the numerous cries for help that the organization sees every single day.
What is the reason for PostSecret’s success? What makes people want open their hearts and minds to strangers in a public forum? This organization, though it is secular, has stumbled upon a concept that Christians have long known: secrets bind us, and humans are crying out for relief.
Why do we keep secrets? There can be many reasons, and Satan loves to use all of them. He speaks to us in our pride, appealing to our deep need for acceptance and personal affirmation. We have all heard him whisper, “If anyone knew what you were really like, you would be despised.”
Or maybe Satan makes us think we can’t stop, or that we don’t have to. That we can continue in our anger, or in our sin, and are justified. Or that no one will get hurt.
Maybe Satan plays into our self-pity, and encourages us to feel sorry for ourselves. We carry deep hurts that wound us, and when we don’t release them, we make excuses, viewing ourselves as a victim. We do anything to stay in control of our own lives, since others have taken so much from us.
Or maybe Satan makes us doubt that the struggle can ever really be overcome. We become paralyzed, feeling that we’ve tried everything, and we resign ourselves to living with this problem. So we stick it in a closet in our hearts and close the door.
Our secrets will eat us aive. For whatever reason we keep our secrets, one thing is sure: a secret is like a black mold that can darken your heart forever. Aaron Stern writes, “Secrets never shrink, they never go away, and they never lead to life. …We may think we are keeping a secret, but the secret is actually keeping us.” You see, this is why God is against sin: not because He doesn’t want us to enjoy pleasure, but because He knows sin changes us, and the damage can be permanent (James 1:13-15).
For example, our anger can fester into a heart that is bent by bitterness. And our sin can shape our minds so that all we can see is shame. We become two halves of a person: one half that is trying to prove that everything is fine, and one half that is filled with pain, anger, doubt, loneliness, and fear. So we learn not to trust, thinking it will protect our fragile hearts from future pains. We become isolated, and we are restless.
Behind the lies. Even Frank Warren, who is not a Christian, has learned that keeping secrets doesn’t keep us safe. He says, “I believe that the motives for mailing in secrets are complex. Maybe someone wants to share a funny experience. Other postcards show painstaking detail and raw personal insight. I think of each work as a piece of art, but I also see some as sacred objects used by the creators to find peace or greater self-acceptance.”
My friends, this is of God. Even those in the world know the truth in their hearts: there is a certain peace in confession. We can finally allow those two halves of ourselves to reconcile. But God goes a step farther: He promises us that if we surrender our dark places to him, we will be made clean.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).
Frank also noticed something else: both the author of the secret and those who read it were empowered. And a surprising thing happens: “Our secrets… forge deeper channels of intimacy with each other.”
God promises the opposite of what Satan says: We are safe not in the secret-keeping, but in the secret-telling. When we keep secrets, Satan isolates us from the community, blocking us from opportunities for encouragement, affirmation, and love (the very same things we so desperately seek). But when we freely confess our sin or our hurt, we are not using the community, but creating it, both with others and with God.
How do we do it? We must begin by changing our mindset: we have to humble ourselves. We must be able to see a clear picture of who we really are, warts and all. Start by naming the problem. What is that thing that keeps you from living in complete freedom in Christ? You probably have a good idea of it already. It’s scary to acknowledge it, because that means admitting that you don’t have it all figured out, or that you have some real issues that need addressing. But once you name it, you’ll probably see that your fear of the thing was worse than the thing itself.
And there is more: our weaknesses are actually the places God works best. Paul describes humans as “jars of clay,” something very plain and ordinary. Your secret pains and struggles are like cracks and holes in that jar. But what happens when you put a candle inside it? The light is only seen through those holes. And Paul writes,
“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
Don’t you love the word “sufficient”? It means that He’s all we need. We can stop trying to be something we’re not. And He will rest His power on us – the same power that raised Christ from the dead!!
So we take that weakness and, through prayer, put it into the light. Tell it to others who will pray with us and hold us accountable. Expose the filth, and get it cleaned up (Psalm 51:7). We lay our secret at the feet of the cross, and do not take it up again.
What happens after confession? Beautiful things. Read this passage from John 3:
“This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God (John 3:19-21). “
God gets glorified. When we stop living by hate, fear, and pride, our minds can be ruled by truth. And we, who are small and broken, become a light, too. Our confession makes others stop and think, “God is powerful!”
In Mere Christianity, CS Lewis writes, “The point is, [God] wants you to know Him: wants to give you Himself. And He and you are two things of such a kind that if you really get into any kind of touch with Him, you will, in fact, be humble – delightedly humble, feeling the infinite relief of having for once got rid of all the silly nonsense about your own dignity which has made you restless and unhappy all your life.”
So, let’s stop resisting His call on our hearts. Let God have all that ugly mess that you don’t want to carry anyway. Confess your secret to Him. He already knows it. And when we are weak, He is strong!
In Mere Christianity, CS Lewis writes, “The point is, [God] wants you to know Him: wants to give you Himself. And He and you are two things of such a kind that if you really get into any kind of touch with Him, you will, in fact, be humble – delightedly humble, feeling the infinite relief of having for once got rid of all the silly nonsense about your own dignity which has made you restless and unhappy all your life.”
So, let’s stop resisting His call on our hearts. Let God have all that ugly mess that you don’t want to carry anyway. Confess your secret to Him. He already knows it. And when we are weak, He is strong!
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart (Hebrews 12:1-3).”
Bicky Tolar
Abilene, Texas
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