Measuring Our Lives

I’m currently enrolled in a study of conflict resolution and we recently were required to watch “A Civil Action” starring John Travolta as an ambulance chasing attorney about a big case he takes on that goes awry.  In the end, one of the characters is sitting before a bankruptcy judge and she is asking where all the assets went.  After a moment of nonresponse, the judge says something like “where are all your possessions, you know, the things we measure our life’s efforts by?”  OUCH!

Conflict is pervasive for many people and dealing with conflict can become a heavy burden.  To make conflict easier, some choose alcohol or drugs or sex or the act of accumulation.  Buying more, having more and looking better off than the next person becomes an obsession.  I have been a person who has been known to ease the pain of conflict with a nice gift for myself and yet the conflict remains, the gift deteriorates and what do I really have left to measure my life?  

I’m working on a new measurement system.  It’s a little more subjective than buying a 55” ultra-thin plasma TV but I believe it is something that will last longer and end up creating a picture much more beautiful and alive than that big TV.  I am trying to measure my life by the amount of love I can share.  A thoughtful word, a note in the mail, an offer to pray for someone, a lunch, being present when hard times come and offering a hand when help is needed.  

Here’s an illustration I’ve used in classes and writings I have done in the past, maybe here, but one that for me is worthy of repeating because it reminds me of how I want to measure myself and be measured...

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. - ! John 4:8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. - ! Corinthians 13:4-8a

God is love so I can take “love” and the references to love in that passage and replace them with “God” and I should get an idea of the nature of God.  

God is patient, God is kind. God does not envy, God does not boast, God is not proud. God does not dishonor others, God is not self-seeking, God is not easily angered, God keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. God always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  God never fails.

Now, let’s go a step further.  We are called to show the love of God to those around us.  So, I can take “God” out of the passage and put in my name and get a picture of what people should see in my nature.

Jeff is patient, Jeff is kind. Jeff does not envy, Jeff does not boast, Jeff is not proud. Jeff does not dishonor others, Jeff is not self-seeking, Jeff is not easily angered, Jeff keeps no record of wrongs. Jeff does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Jeff always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Jeff never fails.

Try it out for yourself and see how it fits.  If you are like me, you’ll go through that exercise and think “wow, I’ve got some work to do.”  I don’t know that anyone will ever say I never failed (and I don’t even want to begin to discuss the easily angered part) but if I try to live up to what that passage says with my name in it, my life is and will be something worth measuring.  

I hope when my days are done, people will look back at my life and measure it with one word - love.

Jeff Jones

Decatur, Texas

Let's Be Friends

Last week I once again realized the importance of friends.  True friends.  Friends that speak truth to your soul, call you closer to God, and remind you of heaven.  The Apostle Paul calls them, “dear friends”… Anne of Green Gables, “kindred spirits”.  When we have an encounter with a friend like this, it truly is the Spirit that is kindled.  I’m not talking about the friends you call when you want to go see the latest movie or chat on Facebook.  I mean fellowship of the soul. 

We all need fellowship on this level.  Although not always easy to find, when we get the opportunity we can and should be ready to open our hearts.  Many times I can fall prey to self-preservation, busy-ness, or allow myself to be too distracted to take hold of these precious moments.  My air of “I-have-it-all-together-and-don’t-need-anyone’s-help, thank-you-very-much,” can make me seem unapproach- able. I can also become pacified with surface level relationships, because deep ones take time, vulnerability and purposeful-ness.   However, when we make the effort and allow God to provide these opportunities for our souls to rub up against another’s, our hearts will be blessed. 

Proverbs 27:9
Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice. 

In John chapter 15, Jesus tells us how deep friendship should look, act and feel:  Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends (John 15:13).

It is through the laying down of our lives, and our expectations that we can be Jesus to one another and love like he loves.  He tells his disciples that he no longer calls them servants, but rather friends because he has shared all that the Father has shared with him.  Jesus shared his heart, unashamedly and without regret.  He chose to minister to a lost world through a group of friends.  He could have used, and still could for that matter, many other means of reaching the world, but he chooses people.  He chooses you.   He chooses friendship.    

Philippians 2:1-3
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,... 

Dear Lord, thank you for moments in time when we connect with friends in deep and meaningful ways.  Thank you for putting people in our path that can speak words of conviction, encouragement, and love to our hearts.  Help us to be a friend to others like Jesus was…help us to need and want friends like Jesus.  Forgive us for times when we try to self-sustain.  Let us not be afraid of open, honest, vulnerability.  We love you and thank you for loving us.  Amen. 

Dana Jaworski
Anchor Point, AK

Out of the Darkness . . .

I just read my dad’s article from yesterday. Naturally, it made me think about “stories” I’ve heard recently. One stands out above the rest. I have a friend who I’ve known for a long time. We went to elementary school together when my family lived in Abilene when I was very young, and didn’t meet again until I came to ACU four years ago.

Our friendship has encountered many challenges, but has managed to endure in the midst of these, largely due to his honesty. As we’ve walked life together, he has confessed to anger, lust, porn addiction, objectifying women as a result of that addiction, turning his back on God, among other things. In the past year, we’ve grown apart a bit and I missed out on about nine months of his life. Three weeks ago, he called me and said he needed to talk. I knew it must be serious, since we had not spoken a word to each other in months.

We met at the park and he wasted no time. “Erin,” he said, “I need to confess something to you. I know we haven’t talked in awhile, but I’ve felt comfortable with confessing things to you in the past, so here it goes: I’m addicted to weed and prescription meds. For the past five months, I’ve been selling drugs, stealing money from my parents, and am constantly “on” something. I’m high all the time. Last night, something inside me broke. I can’t do it anymore. I want to change and I can’t do it alone. I understand if you can’t look at me the same way. I understand if you don’t want to be my friend anymore. But I can’t go on living with this sin inside of myself.”

He shook with silent sobs. I can’t begin to imagine the fear that he felt in that moment--fear of being given up on, fear of an angry response, fear of being told that there was no love left for him. Contrary to his expectation, I have never loved him more than I did in that moment.

Why is confession so hard? It requires vulnerability and honesty, and, perhaps more difficult, it requires the acknowledgement that there is a need for change in our lives. A generalized confession on a notecard after the invitation song doesn’t cut it. Even confessing to God alone doesn’t either. In confessing to one another, we hold each other accountable. We call each other out of the darkness of secret sin and walk with each other in the light. We give those who love us the opportunity to prove the depth and endurance of their love for us. We connect in community the way that Christ has called us to. Confession creates stronger community.

Bringing sin into the light strips Satan of his power over that realm of our lives. The Lord knows every part of us, yes, but the Lord still longs to be invited into our hidden places. In doing this, we invite Him to teach us how to know Him more, and to know ourselves, as well. His appearance in these times is as sure as the dawn.

“Come, let us return to the Lord.

For He has torn us,
and He will heal us;

He has wounded us,

and He will bind up our wounds.
He will revive us after two days,

and on the third day He will raise us up

so we can live in His presence.
Let us strive to know the Lord.
His appearance is as sure as the dawn.

He will come to us like the rain,

like the spring showers that water the land.”
Hosea 6:1-3

Erin E. Daugherty, Abilene Christian University

Heard a Good Story Lately?

Josiah Royce said, “If I have never been fascinated in childhood by my heroes and the wonders of life, it is harder to fascinate me later with the call of duty.” 

An unknown author wrote: At their best, stories are incredibly persuasive because they ‘speak to us’ at a very meaningful, emotional, and often-unconscious level. When a story makes the hair on the back of our necks tingle it is because that particular story has touched a very deep nerve in our personal or collective psyches.

When we reflect on our pre-teen years, most of us can remember "story" as a big part of those years.  We grew up listening to stories.  But something happens as we get older.  We hear stories in our adult years but we don't connect with them or reflect on them as intimately as we did as children.  But, I’m convinced that we need an interaction with faith stories in our adult years as much if not more than we need them in our childhood years. 

Can you remember the last time you stood at the precipice of “This is it!  No more!” and thought about laying your faith down or at least taking a nice long vacation from discipleship? 

Hebrews was written to second generation Christians.  They were distracted and weary.  Living the Christian life was hard.  You add attrition in the house churches to the daily grind and pressure they felt as persons of faith and you have a recipe for faith deterioration.  There is theology aplenty in the book of Hebrews.  But, the writer knows the power of story.  Story is what discipleship looks like in someone else’s life. 

11:1 says, “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for; the conviction of things not seen.”  Heard it before…right?  So had they.  But, truth has a way of going in one ear and out the other.  What gives it traction in our lives?  Stories!  Chapter eleven is one story after another of people in real life situations living out their faith.  Like a base drum setting the beat for a marching band, the refrain “by faith” sets the rhythm of the chapter.  This list of regular folks – just like the readers! – did extraordinary things.  They built, left, received, looked to the future, broke the grip of this world and its seductions from their lives, anticipated God’s blessings in the future, endured, lived without fear, worshipped, and kept walking when they couldn’t see past their nose.  They died trusting God. 

We need stories, too.  Biblical ones.  Modern ones.  We need them because faith as an ideology can become brittle.  We know how susceptible we are to a loss of perspective with a bible lying three feet from us!  We gradually become sealed off in our own world.  Faith becomes a word with no bearing. We know we should get up after a spiritual defeat but we don't know how to.  Shame defines us.  Discipleship becomes an impossible proposition.  Then we hear a story about someone who is serving in a similar or perhaps, more difficult situation.  In that moment a bridge is built between calling and discipleship.  The Spirit stirs our heart and awakens our resolve to serve another day. 

How’s your faith right now?  I thought about someone last week who went through a particularly difficult time in their life.  My remembrance of their story encouraged and challenged my own faith.  I knew what to do.  I had the teaching in my back pocket.  But it was their story that brought it to life and put the wind in my sails.  How does “story” work in your life?  Perhaps that person is in Hebrews 11.  Perhaps they are in your family or your congregation or stuck in the recesses of your memory.  But, they are there.  Hearing the beat of the base drum in their life helps us catch the cadence of faih in our own life.

Father, awaken our memories with stories of faith.  Bring them to our minds when we are down and out; when we can feel evil breathing down our necks; when we can see what to do but don’t have the strength to do.  Give us stories of faith in such moments that we might continue to write a story of faith in our own lives that others can draw from one day.  Thank you for Jesus who provides us with the ultimate story.  Amen.

Randy Daugherty

Stephenville, Texas

Before the Sun Goes Down

A friend once told me “the reason God doesn’t let us live to be 300 is that for the last 240 years, we would just be mad.”         

It does seem like it’s a lot easier to get angry than to get over it. I kid myself by saying that what I feel is ‘righteous indignation’. But I have noticed that the anger itself is hurting me as much or more than the original affront. How can I learn to be angry for the right reason? To the right degree; for the right time? Paul’s instruction in Ephesians 4:26 helps. “Be angry, but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,…”         

Be angry, but do not sin. How can I do that? Somehow I must confront the sin without becoming sin myself. One clue Paul gives us is to not spend too much time with anger. It is so easy to keep it,; to bring it up again and again. Anger can become the defining characteristic of who I am.       

So, Paul says we must deal with the confrontation then put it down and leave it. This calls for faith. We must learn to trust God that He will do right. Paul also warns us that the devil uses anger as an entry point into our lives. He uses this as an opportunity to introduce other sins…violence, lying, malice, hatred and others.          

Anger is so dangerous to handle.  We must not spend too much time with it.   

Dear Father, I stand in wonder with you. You know everything; even my hidden sins, yet You are kind. I sin against You and You forgive. I want to be more like You. But I see others sins so plainly. I don’t want to forget or forgive. I want mercy and grace from You. I want justice and judgment for them. I am a mess. Help me O Lord! Please create in me a new heart. One that is not so cold and judgmental. Please don’t give up on me. You promised me the peace that passes understanding. Please replace my anger with Your peace. Please help me to forgive those who trespass against me. Help me to say, Father, forgive them.   In the name of Jesus, I pray.     Amen

Paul Shero

San Angelo, TX

Leave the Dirt Out of it

I chuckled the other day when I saw a commercial starring Peyton Manning, the famed quarterback of the Indianapolis Colts.  Manning is bouncing from business to business spouting life clichés.  In one scene he yells out to a coffee server who slips and falls, “Good job, Bobby.  You’ll be okay.  Rub some dirt on it!” 

Our culture knows the experience of human weakness but we aren’t sure how to process it.  Our cliché saturated culture has a few that sound cute, but they don’t help much when you are down and out.  Heard these?  “Be the man”.  “Man up”.  “Never let’em see you cry.”  “Big boys (and girls) don’t cry.”  “No mercy.”  “No pain.”  “Second place is the first loser.”  And of course…”Rub some dirt on it.” 

To be sure, we need to be strong and resilient.  It’s good to learn this as children and to teach it to our children.  But, I fear we do mature faith development a great disservice when we provide no room for the presence of emotion in our discussions about faith.  We grow up thinking that wrestling with life’s difficulties should be done with a firm jaw and a white-knuckled grip on our bibles.  A lot of people grew up with that perspective and eventually relaxed their jaws, turned loose of their bibles and said goodbye to their faith. 

I was reading in the psalms recently and was once again struck with how often the writer – usually David – expresses emotion.  Here are just a few. 

I am poured out like water,
And all my bones are out of joint;
My heart is like wax;
It is melted within me” -Psalm 22:14

“My tears have been my food day and night…

These things I remember and I pour out my soul within me…

Why are you in despair, O my soul?” – Psalm 42:3-5

“Give heed to me, and answer me;

I am restless in my complaint and am surely distracted.” – Psalm 55:2

“I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched.

My eyes fail while I wait for my God…

Reproach has broken my heart, and I am so sick.

And I looked for sympathy, but there was none,

And for comforters, but I found none.” – Psalm 69:3, 30

Have you ever had such thoughts?  Such feelings?  As I read David’s diary my mind darts back to other descriptions of him:  Goliath’s slayer, his battlefield exploits, the ‘light in Israel’, and the one who drew to himself the company of the renowned “mighty men”.  He was not a wimp by any standard!  He was steel and velvet.  And, he demonstrates that mature faith can be – should be? – emotional.  We can cry out to God about our hurts, frustration, anger at life situations, uncertainty and injustice. 

Jesus was like that, too.  “In the days of his flesh he offered up prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears to the One who was able to save him from death…” (Hebrews 5:7).  Hebrews 4:15 says that Jesus entered heaven in our behalf and invites us to “draw near that we may find help in time of need.”  Jesus drew near to His Father in his time of need.  We can, and should, do the same.   

I take great encouragement in my spiritual walk in knowing that the God who knows us so well has provided us with this perspective of faith.  We just need to remember it and let ourselves “go there” as we need to.  And…you don’t have to bring any dirt with you!

Father, thank you for being near to us – for understanding our weakness and welcoming it into your presence.  May we never run from you – only toward you.  Thank you for allowing us to thrash, kick, scream, and share our hurts openly before you.  Thank you for assuring our hearts through such wonderful texts and stories.  Through Jesus, the Great Physician, Amen.    

Randy Daugherty

Stephenville, Texas

Are You Anxious?

Why am I working so hard on this?  Why do I continue to pour myself into this when no else seems to care?  Why should I commit myself?  Have you ever found yourself asking these questions, especially about something pertaining to church or work in God's kingdom? It is easy to be discouraged and worried over the fruits of your labor.  However, we must not forget our work may be for the benefit of others, but it ultimately is for the GLORY of GOD!

Hebrews 6: 9-12 says,

Even though we speak like this, dear friends, we are convinced of better things in your case—the things that have to do with salvation. 10 God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. 11 We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized. 12 We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.

The author of Hebrews reminds us that God is appreciative of the work we do for His people and that we should not stop!  We are to continue to work diligently serving others, and serving Him.  By continuing this effort, we allow His plan to be revealed and made known to others we encounter.   Demonstrating God's plan of salvation through love and diligence should be our daily goal.  Sometimes after being responsibile for the same task for an extended period of time, we become lax and less diligent.  Perhaps we work less but expect the same results?  We have been instructed to not be lazy - to make the effort to work hard as it will not go unnoticed.  We might not get a pat on the back for it, but we must continue the work and not worry ourselves about the outcome.  We must remain diligent!  

Psalm 139:23-24   Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

We each know someone who we revere as 'faithful and patient'.  Even though we recognize these traits, imitating this behavior is often a challenge.  These individuals are rarely anxious or overly worried.  They demonstrate their faith by their actions and even more so by their re-actions to situations.  Choosing to not worry or have anxiety over a hurdle in life is exactly what God wants us to do.  We need to trust He will lead us through - just as he has promised.   

Father, please help me to remain diligent in the work you have planned for me to do in your kingdom.  Help me to resist laziness and the feeling of anxiousness.  May you continually place others in my path whose faith and patience I may learn from.  Thank you for your gift of salvation!  In Jesus name, Amen.

Michele Tittor

Grapevine, Tx