Respectful Discourse: Is It Possible Anymore?

"Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called sons of God." - Jesus

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment that it may give grace in time of need." - Paul

It is difficult to get through a day without encountering "differences of opinion" on a variety of cultural subjects.  Healthy debate is preliminary to listening and, usually empowers respectful consideration of a point of view.  Whether it be the news, tabloids, blogs or twitter, the ground of healthy debate is collapsing beneath our feet.  The passionate, persuasive and respectful exchange of ideas is giving way to a kind of conversation that has more to do with winning an argument than staying connected with people and ideas at the same time.  I think the following article by Joey Cope helps us see something of what our responsibility and opportunity as Christians really is in the daily experience of sharing our ideas and convictions with each other and the world in general.  

Article:

For some time, I have been troubled over the way that we, as a society and as individuals, approach conflict. Civil discourse has given way, in large part, to guerrilla-like tactics and all-out war in the very halls that once were a symbol of maturity and civility. The following post flows from my troubled spirit. As such, much of this is therapeutic for me. I just feel like I need to be transparent and to add what is hopefully a respectful voice to the conversation.

I’ve been on the verge of shutting down all of my social media accounts for about a year.

Why?

Because there is a certain burden associated with standing by and watching a few of your friends – a few of your vocal friends – become those obnoxious, narrow-minded individuals who prove little with their rhetoric, who often react strongly on the basis of misinformation,and who, quite frankly, eclipse the value of their “stand” on a particular issue with their words of bias and hatred. That saddens me.

For example, I am troubled over a young man who I once believed showed great promise in the field of peacemaking. But his online posts revealed bias, bigotry, and almost total disregard for anyone who thinks differently. I am certainly tough enough to hear his opinion and rancor, but it is just painful and embarrassing. And I often wonder what damage he is doing to others and for the peaceful cause of Christ.

I have other friends or acquaintances, both personal and online, who have taken far different positions from me on political matters, theological matters, health and lifestyle matters. They have stated their opinions and made their arguments. Respectfully.

The quietness of their voices belies the volume of their message. By speaking appropriately, at the right time, and with a humility that comes from valuing others, their words were heard.

On a number of the issues these friends address, I don’t find myself persuaded. Yet, I do experience a deeper understanding of both them and of myself. And I’ve found that when I respond in kind, our conversations and our relationships grow stronger. In many cases, we find true resolution to the challenges that threaten to separate us.

People are finding a lot of issues to fight over in the political realm. The economy, gun control, immigration. In recent days, with the United States Supreme Court considering cases involving same-sex relationships, the bile vomited from both sides of the issue is revolting at its occurrence and the stench it has left behind is stifling.

WARNING: The following is a statement of my beliefs.

·   I believe in God and in Jesus Christ.

·   I believe that God has made it clear that homosexuality is a sin.

·   However, I also believe that God has made it clear that

·   Adultery and fornication are sins.

·   Murder and covetousness are sins.

·   Lust, lying, and idolatry are sins.

·   Personal promotion over the needs of others and anger are sins.

·   A good portion of my personal motivation is worldly and, thus, sinful.

And I believe that God makes no distinction between sins. He despises them all because he sees what sin does to us, his beloved. God loves us even though we are sinners.

I see no need to enter into public debate of my beliefs because of the inherent problem with the public debate of sin.

The problem with the public debate of sin is that sin is not debatable or negotiable. It is what it is. We don’t have the option of deciding what is sinful and what is not.

Therefore, I also believe that God has made it clear that

·   I am to love all people, regardless of their beliefs.

·   I am to respect every one.

·   I am to converse and work with others in an effort to build relationship and, where needed and available, reconciliation – regardless of their belief.

·   I am never to do anything that drives others further from God because of my weakness in conveying God’s spirit and being.

·   I am never to do anything that soils the image of God with others by acting like . . . well, like me. I am called to walk in God’s steps and take on his demeanor and spirit of love.

·   I am to challenge my own beliefs, ferret out errors in my thinking and behavior, and seek a brighter understanding. While God is all-knowing and wise, I am only a work-in-progress.

·   I can have hope in a God who loves, who listens, and who provides grace for my failings.

·   God will make the judgments about people. That is not my job.

·   I can, with a desire to obey God, become a person who others see God through — even when I set clear standards and expectations and disagree with them.

And, I also believe that my failure to seek the things on this last list are just as sinful as the things on my first list.

Right now, we are confusing the concept of sin with the concept of public opinion. We seem to believe that the Supreme Court’s decisions on this issue or that issue will be a blow to the kingdom of heaven. How shortsighted can we be?

You can’t legislate or litigate morality. You can’t make people accept God’s invitation to holiness and a joyful life. You can’t publicly debate sin and expect to see large scale conversion as a result. In fact, you most likely will see the opposite.

Here’s what we can do:

·   Live in accordance with our understanding of God’s hopes and desires for us.

·   Encourage others to come to know God.

·   Encourage each other in holy living.

·   When we disagree, never let our personal motives or feelings derail the hope for reconciliation and future relationship with others.

·   Exercise our voices appropriately. Talk with humility. Speak truth. Explore questions with integrity. Vote. Stay engaged and remain helpful when the vote goes against us.

·   Love every single person – family, friends, strangers, and especially our enemies.

God asks us for very little because God has everything covered. Let’s quit debating and begin meaningful conversation. We can accomplish far more by pursuing peace than we can by waging war.

We are What We Believe

This past weekend, my 13 year old son’s select baseball team played in a tournament in Dallas.  Upon arriving at the field for the first game, my son opened his door and was told by his father to be careful and watchful of the car next to ours. Tyler jumped out and reached to grab his bag when his door pushed open wider, tapping (literally tapping, no scratch) the door of the car...the $60,000 car.  The owner who was sitting in his $60,000 car flew out in an absolute rage screaming profanity in the face of our son, words that his virgin ears had never heard.  The man continued to yell, out of control, about his $60,000 car, despite the calm urging of my 6 ft. 4 husband to not speak that way in front of our child. The man was later rebuked by the baseball commissioner and his team’s coaches for his behavior.  I was so proud of my husband for controlling himself (which was incredibly difficult) and setting a Christian example for our son.  It made a huge impact on our son--not only respect for his father, but he will be much more attentive when getting out of our vehicle in a parking lot. One last bit of information, without any spitefulness (almost) …my son’s team won the tournament.

All kidding aside, have you noticed that God, at some point in our lives, puts us next to another person whose personal habits irritate us? I strongly believe He does this to develop Christ-like character in us, particularly patience, and to help us change for the good of other people.  I think the most spiritual person is the one who accepts irritating things with patience, bearing with the other person in love, and keeping the peace.

Did your parents ever remind you to remember who you are in regards to your behavior? What we believe matters. We are what we believe.  In Ephesians 4, Paul reminds us that the very highest calling a human being can have is living up to our inheritance in Christ.  Verses 1-6 list character traits that give us direction in this calling: humility and gentleness, patience – bearing with one another in love, and striving to keep unity.  We all know that unity can be very difficult at times and possible only by the grace of God and the gift of the Holy Spirit which dwells in all believers.  It is this unity we immediately recognize when we meet a genuine Christian and it is by the gift of the Spirit that we can call on those traits when dealing with an irritating situation.

True belief in Christ can never be separate from Christ-like behavior.  What God requires is not easy and it is not natural, but the love of Christ gives us courage, strength, and traits to model.

Carla Henson
Tuscola, Texas

Shalom

Today’s word is Shalom, commonly used now by people of Jewish faith as a greeting or farewell; and meaning, “Peace”.  Shalom is the Hebrew word meaning “the complete state of well-being, fulfillment, prosperity, peace”.  I can truthfully say I have never used this term as a greeting or farewell, and I would get a strange response if I did use it in Texas.  Perhaps, “Shalom, y’all” would raise fewer eyebrows.  I do enjoy the concept of God’s promises for our lives that provide for us a complete state of well-being, fulfillment, prosperity and peace. We can remember in any trial we encounter:

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

God has promised that if we love and trust him, he will protect us, provide for us, answer our prayers, and assure that good things will result.  We may become impatient while waiting for those good things.  It is imperative to continue to trust that God is in control and will grant peace or “Shalom”.  We may think that the result we want in a particular situation is God’s purpose, but that may not be the case in our lives.  People do not wish to experience difficult situations, but those trying times help us learn to deal with the variety of unexpected encounters that will occur.  Whatever God’s purpose for us, it is good because God is good.  I believe that and will cling to that during easy days and desperate days to come.

“The LORD is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him.” Nahum 1:7

Dear God, Please grant shalom for my life as I accept your purpose for me.  In Jesus name, Amen

Sherilyn Svien

Stephenville, TX

Jesus, The Reconciler

When I grew up on a cotton farm in New Home, Lynn County, Texas, my brother who was four years older than me (named Larry) sometimes terrorized me.  My nickname was ‘crybaby’. Often, we hoed together in the cotton field.  Most of the time, everything went well.  But, occasionally, when we had a major disagreement, we settled it with dirt clods or the big cotton boles if they were ripe enough.  I HAD A MAJOR PROBLEM.  Larry could throw a lot harder. And, if all else failed in the ‘chunking’ fights, he was big enough and strong enough to beat the tar out of me.

I did not know what the word ‘reconciliation’ meant at the time.  But, I was happy for reconciliation when it happened with Larry.  Reconciliation means ‘the restoration of friendship, the removal of enmity, and the establishment of peace.’  All three aspects of reconciliation were a wonderful thing for a little brother.

When Paul describes the work of Jesus in the gospel, ‘reconciliation’ is one of the greatest blessings that we receive.  Colossians 1:20-22 tells us that Jesus ‘makes peace through his blood, shed on the cross.’  We were alienated from God and enemies of God because of our sin.  CAN YOU IMAGINE A ‘WORST POSSIBLE’ ENEMY TO HAVE THAN GOD??  I thought Larry was a formidable enemy as a child because of his size and strength.  But, imagine the God of the universe as my enemy.  

The good news, according to Romans 5:6-11, is that God INITIATES reconciliation.  Paul says that when we were powerless and sinners and enemies of God, God provided Jesus to die for us.  God took the initiative, not us.  

Our ‘reconciliation to God’ is the heart of the gospel message.  And there is something else.  We have been given the ministry of reconciliation by God (II Corinthians 5:17-21).  God expects us to be ‘reconcilers’.  As Christians who have been reconciled to God, we have an obligation to be reconciled to our enemies.  That was the purpose of Jesus’ reconciliation for the Jews and the Gentiles.  And, it is His purpose for us.  He expects us to be at peace with one another. 

Prayer:  Father, help me to appreciate what Jesus accomplished for me—establishing peace between me and You.  Help me to take seriously my task of reconciliation as I live in my home and in my community and in my church.

Terry Brown

Abilene, Texas                      

Claiming Peace

A few years ago I discovered I was walking around in shackles. I had been wearing them for so long I thought my hobbled walk was normal. My discovery happened after a conversation with a dear friend and mentor about the fruits of the Holy Spirit. I told him I was beginning a personal prayer campaign for peace. Not world peace, but peace in my heart. Since early childhood I had struggled with low levels of anxiety; anxiety about my future, my present and at times my past. I was especially anxious about my relationships and what others thought of me. According to my mother at the age of three, my physician grandfather remarked to her that she needed to teach me to relax. Unfortunately, this was a lesson that went unlearned.

To most people my inward battle with anxiety made me outwardly appear driven, high achieving, and energetic. As an athlete I used this tool to push my body beyond its limits and unfortunately pay the price with painful bursitis and tendonitis in both shoulders at the age of 34. As an employee I never lacked for promotions or more responsibilities, unfortunately these came to the detriment of real relationships outside of work and struggles with infertility. Anxiety left me constantly discontent, overbearing, and living in a world of unrealistic expectations for myself and others.

It was the question from my mentor of, “Why are you praying for peace when you already have it?” that allowed me to see that I was missing out on a huge promise from God. A study of Galatians 5 and the fruits of the Spirit led me back to the beginning of the chapter where Paul writes:

“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”

Like the Christians in Galatia, I too had put Christ on in baptism and in doing so had “crucified the flesh with its passions and desires”. However, like the Galatians’ desire to be justified in their faith through their works, I had also been “working” at peace, and “working” at joyfulness with little success.

When we receive the gift of the Holy Spirit we in turn have access to the fruits, but access does not guarantee ownership. Some fruits come easily while others are more difficult to obtain. It is our flesh that keeps us from walking in the freedom of Christ and enjoying the Spirit’s fruits. When I take up the shackles of anxiety and worry about the lack of control I have over my life and those in it, I deny the peace and joy already set before me and become a slave once again to sin.

I would like to say that once I learned this lesson I forever broke the chains that bound me, and never took them up again. But, oh how alluring the sin of anxiety can be for me at times. In my anxiety I can out-work, out-criticize, and out-worry the best: calls are made, closets organized, prayers given, notes written, bible class materials gathered, and meals cooked. Sometimes we can do good things yet nullify the freedom and power of a relationship with Christ if we try to do it all on our own. The question I must constantly ask myself is what is my motivation? Is it out of the overflow of a heart fully given over to God, surrendered to his love and walking in his truth? Meals may have been prepared, bible class planned for and the house clean, but at what cost? Did my children receive nothing but rebuke and frustration from me during the day? Did my husband and friends get the encouragement they needed? Did the “peace that passes understanding” reign in my home?

Thank you, God that like a parent delighting in their child’s stages of development, you delight in me as I grow. Thank you for teaching me I am not defined by what I do, but by my identity in Christ Jesus. Thank you for setting me free through your Son.

Dana Jaworski
Anchor Point, AK