What if I Were Broken?

“Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.” Micah 7:18 (NIV 1984)

His question made me stop and think. It was a simple comment, said in a teasing manner, but instantly struck a chord in my heart.

One afternoon I was trying to get prepared for a garage sale in Abilene.  I was attempting to determine what to sell and what to throw away.  While cleaning out the garage full of items I rarely used, I found an old broken VCR. I handed it to my six year-old son and asked him to throw it away. Instead of just tossing it into the trashcan, he asked if he could keep it.

Why in the world would a little boy want an old, dirty, useless VCR? I thought.

He insisted he needed to keep it. Finally I said, “Son, it is broken. I don’t want it or need it anymore, so throw it away please.” “Well if I were broken, would you just throw me away?” he asked.

Huh? Our conversation about a silly VCR had gotten way too complicated. I assured him I would never throw him away, no matter what, because he was too valuable to me. Then I gave him a hug and he skipped off into the house to watch TV, while I stood there stunned, pondering his question.

I remembered being like that VCR – broken, dirty and useless – at least in my eyes. A horrible decision I made in my earlier years convinced me for a long time that I had no redeeming value in God’s eyes. Regret suffocated my heart for years, and plagued me with lies that God could never really love a sinner like me.  I stood there in my garage vividly remembering the overwhelming pain and regret of feeling broken, and void of worth, beauty or value. But then a smile slipped across my face as I remembered the day God healed my brokenness. Sitting alone in my backyard several years before, tears down my face, I begged God to forgive me for my sins. I had asked before, but this time it was different.  I felt God’s presence and believed His promise of forgiveness. For the first time, I heard His voice ring in the ears of my heart, reassuring me that I was too valuable to be thrown away. The following day I realized something was different. My past was still my past, but I was no longer broken.  The damaged pieces of my heart were mended, and I set out on a wonderful journey to discover my worth in God’s eyes. Over time I read His promises and started to believe I really was valuable and that He not only loved me, He liked me!

Are you feeling broken today? Do you ever feel like God could love everyone else, but not you? Do you spend each day condemning yourself for past sins, current habits, damaged relationships, poor choices, or even self-harming behavior?  Do you ever feel like you are just too messed up to be “fixed?” Do you wish you could stop feeling broken, or break the cycle of sin in your life, but simply do not know how?

Despite what you think, you are not beyond repair. As a child of God, you are precious, beautiful and part of God’s inheritance, just as the verse above says.  Whatever your situation, God can mend that crushing feeling of hopelessness and brokenness. With faith, ask Him to. Then delight in Him by accepting His grace, mercy and forgiveness.

Dear Lord, forgive me and heal me. Mend my brokenness. Give me hope. Help me to see myself through Your eyes only. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Casey Dacus
Graham, TX

Worthy

The word ‘worthy’ is a hard word for me. Oh, it makes perfect sense when Jesus was found worthy to open the scroll in Revelation 5. Of course, Jesus is worthy. But what about the command to be worthy of the Gospel in Philippians 1:27? How can I possibly be worthy of the Gospel? In Ephesians 4:1, Paul begs us to live a life worthy of our call. Impossible!

God is always commanding us to do the very thing we can’t do. To a lame man, he said, “Get up”. To a man with a withered arm, he said, “Stretch it out”. And to me, He says, “Be worthy”. Impossible!

Thankfully, He gives us some hard but doable tasks associated with being worthy. He uses words like lowly, meek, patience, love. He said to stand firm and stand together. But still does that make you ‘worthy’? How can I come up to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ? I can’t! I have tried but I am always falling so short of what I should be. I know more about wretchedness than worthiness. Of course, there is “fear and trembling” as we try to work out our own salvation. (Philippians 2:12.)

I am afraid because I am trying to do something that I must do that I can’t do. Fortunately, His word is good news. The next verse, Philippians 2:13, tells me: “God is at work in you both to will and to work for His good pleasure”.

There are many things that are impossible with man but with God ‘All Things Are Possible’. God and only God can cleanse us, save us, sanctify us and make us worthy.

It is so exciting to think that God can take my life and make it worthy. That

He can find pleasure in my life.

Dear Father, Thank You for Your word. It corrects me and instructs me. It guides me and directs me. Sometimes Your word frightens me. You know how unworthy I am. I am undone. The harder I try, the more obvious my failures are to me. I know you see them even more clearly. So I beg you, Father, don’t throw me away. Please don’t give up on me.

Please, Dear Father, do what ever is needed to make me worthy. Take away anything that is in the way. Add any burden I need to carry. Whatever is necessary for Your good pleasure. I don’t understand Your ways but I know You love me and I want to please You.

Please accept this prayer in the name of Your Son, Jesus, the One who is Worthy.

Paul Shero
San Angelo, Texas

My Daddy's Lap

When I was a little girl, every night after supper I jumped down from my chair, ran around to the other side of the table, and climbed up into my daddy’s lap. Sometimes I had to ask first, “Daddy, can I sit in your lap now?” because he might not be quite through eating. But if he were through, or almost through with his supper, he’d push back from the table, turn his chair sideways, I was welcomed.

I’d snuggle up in his lap with my back against his chest, my head laid back on his left shoulder, and his left arm cozily around me. We always laughed when my fine hair invariably caught in his heavy, 12-hours-old beard and tickled his face. Chuckling, he’d wipe my hair away from his face while I tried to scootch down a bit further in his lap so my hair wouldn’t tickle him so much. He’s ask me how my day went, what happened, what all I had done, in general hearing about my life from my perspective. If he had questions, we’d discuss whatever he wanted to know more about, trying to understand my heart.

On other occasions, when Daddy had to discipline me (never because of what I told him at “lap time”) and I was left crying, with my feelings more hurt than anything else, he required that I come to his lap after my punishment was over. Then he talked to me, hugged me, made sure I understood how and why my behavior was not acceptable in our home. What I had to do to meet with his approval was always clear. Do what he said! No ambiguity! I always knew that he “meant business” about my behavior. My parents had expectations of my behavior which were taught, were reasonable, were consistent, and were not to be ignored!

Even after I had acted “naughty,” my daddy loved holding me. I always loved that he held me so freely. He loved that I came to him with joys, hurts, problems, successes, laughter, tears. I loved him because he loved me so. Everything in my life was a “good excuse” to go to my Daddy’s lap. My Daddy’s lap always meant unconditional love! All I had to do to know it again was to come to him!

In Mark 10:14, Jesus said, “Let the little children come unto me.” In the eyes of Jesus and Jehovah, we are all little children. Our God, our heavenly Father, wants us, His children. to come to him with everything in our lives: our questions and understandings, our laughter and tears, our successes and dissappointments, our fears and comforts, when we hurt and when we rejoice, when we cry and when we laugh, when we know we have sinned and when we have served Him well. He wants to be the most important part of our total lives. He wants us, in effect, to sit on His lap, to share with him all things in our lives, to give him our cares, wants, thanks, joys, love. We can’t physically sit on the lap of Jesus or of God as I did my Daddy’s lap. Instead, we can spirtiually come to our “Abba,” Father (Rom 8:15) through Jesus Christ, mentally curl up in His lap, and empty our hearts to Him.

His loving arms will be wrapped around us, ready at all times to lift us up in love and show us again the way to serve God and others. Anything in our hearts and minds is a perfect “excuse” to go to His lap.

----------

Beloved Father, thank You so much for always waiting, ready at any moment to listen to our thoughts, our prayers, on any occasion. On this earth we cannot begin to understand the depths of your love and kindness toward us in sending Jesus Christ so we can be ransomed from our transgressions, so that we may come before you with all this is on our hearts. We gratefully acknowledge what You have done for us and give You all the praise and glory and thanks for Who You are, for what You have done, and for what You do for us continually. By your loving care, help us to know You more, and in our knowing you, to constantly learn from You how to daily join in the glorious life of our salvation by serving You and others more fully. Through Jesus, our Lord and Savior, Amen.

Marilyn Schulze
Stephenville, Texas